Lane Changer — Veronika Tursik, in a new lane and behind the wheel for the first time!
Happy in a new lane
Veronika Tursik lives in a very small hamlet outside Stratford, Ontario. It’s the land of the vehicle so being a non-driver there and working a 35 minute drive away meant that Veronika relied on her husband to ferry her back and forth. And that was fine! Until nearly two years ago, when it most definitely wasn’t.
From the time Veronika was 17 and for the 23 years that followed, she and her now-ex had a good marriage. They had two kids; they owned a farm where they grew sweet corn and sold it every August from the stand at the end of their lane; they had close connections with his family, who all live nearby, and her family back in Toronto where she grew up; and they enjoyed spending time together. Veronika remembers strolling through a Stratford mall in the weeks leading up to Christmas 2023, holding hands, and thinking “wow, I can’t believe we’re still feeling this affection after all these years!”
Imagine then, what a shock it was when, a few days into 2024, her ex told her that he’d met a woman online and fallen in love with her. It thrust Veronika into an unfamiliar lane where she tried to maintain a sense of stability for their children, despite the uncertain and unpredictable situation. She didn’t sleep, she was forced to walk everywhere or arrange rides for longer trips, and food stopped tasting good. By the time her ex packed up his things in June, she’d lost 90 pounds.
When I met with Veronika on the back deck of the house they once shared, it was hard to imagine all these things happened so recently. Veronika exudes the self-assuredness of every woman in her 40s. I asked her why she thinks she’s so resilient. Veronika gave me three good reasons. First, she told me about arriving with her parents from the Czech Republic in 1992 at the age of 6. Her dad, an engineer back home, took a job delivering pizza in Toronto’s suburb of Rexdale, because he had to, which led to that “nothing comes easy” attitude of many newcomer families. Second, Veronika credits her status as a mother to getting comfy in the very difficult lane she landed in: “The moment you have kids, it’s about their wellbeing.” It was critical that she create a sense of stability in a time of household chaos. And finally, Veronika believes that right from day one, her facial birthmark gave her the confidence that comes from being unique.
I was curious what positive things have emerged for her, other than driving which, by the way, she’s embraced with the enthusiasm of a teenager. Many positives, as it turns out! She’s strengthened ties with her in-laws and her own parents. Her mother-in-law dropped during our interview and she thinks of her ex’s brother as her best friend now, often doing stuff with her and her kids. Also, despite having lived in Perth County for decades, she’d found it tough to make local friends but as I was leaving her house, her new gal-pals were arriving with their kids for a late Friday gab-and-wine-fest. Watching as an outsider, it felt like she’d been hanging with them for years. Extra bonus? Instead of wanting new toys to fill their time, the kids have a full social life and do things like playing in the creek with the neighbour kids.
While Veronika acknowledges she paid a heavy price, she’s emerged happier and freer than she’d ever imagined, knowing that if she’s survived the last 18 months, she can tackle any new lane that life throws her into. Is her life now perfect? No. One day she’d like another partner, but her priority now is the children and the growing friend circle.
Veronika’s a lot more confident in her own body now too, buoyed by the weight loss, but not just that. She cares more about herself. She’d had her nails done the day of our interview and told me she sat in the salon crying happy/sad tears, thinking about how far she’d come. And how excited she was about her new lane.
And that’s what I’m talking about — changing lanes, whether by choice or by circumstance, rejuvenates and energizes.
Curious about my Lane Changer series? Check out these profiles
Peter Chandler, how it all began for me
Cathy Crowe, her lane is the street
Marissa Bastidas, same lane, new direction
Pam Hudak, living on a multi-lane highway
Jennifer, crossing lanes from Phuket to pup-minderEmma Simpson, from taxiway to writing terminal
Jessica Waraich, changing lanes on the career on-ramp
Michelle Simmons, straddling two lanes in her mid-40s
Sybil Chandler (1928-2025), proud to find life’s off-ramp
Faiv Noelle, solo on a global highway
Karly Wilson, waiting aside life’s highway for the next lane
Marya Williams, when life’s lanes bring you full circle
Carolyn Whitzman, lanes inspired by mother and grandmotherValerie Groves, when the lane is bordered by perennials and pollinatorsElana Harte, Changing lanes on the “Being of Service” HighwayFaren Bogach, the fast lanes of lawyering
Cathy Mann, finding the lane to Nova ScotiaDenese Gascho, finding common ground in different lanesSafiya Randera, lanes that cross land, community, and artChristine Mounsteven, nine decades, still driving forward on life’s highway
When a sector changes lanes: How ONPHA gave me hope
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